| Camping... |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|05:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Bummed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A Place Called Home - Kim Richey | ] |
So I doubt that whole camping deal is going to work out... no one wants to go camping at a camp ground because one- thats just lame, and 2- its expensive... but we can't go camping in the wods because its all private or state owned land and if we made a fire we'd apparently be arrested and go to jail. Plus, Mike texted me saying he can't go because the 4th (we'd be gone from the 3rd to 5th) they are having a family day- so that also rules out Alex going, seeing as their related. And I don't know if Christian would still go if Alex can't and I dont know if the people that want to go would be allowed to... just a lot of things like that...
Although mom did say we could camp in the backyard completely undisturbed and its labor day weekend so we could blast music all night if we wanted... but that is WAY ghetto.
I might just suggest having everyone (who's allowed to) spend the night at the boat though, because I'm allowed to do that and there's no curfew at the dock.
>. |
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| Internet |
[Aug. 30th, 2007|04:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Wish You Love - Rachael Yamagata | ] |
=)
I've signed up for a few new internet things lately lol. first off, i made a facebook account ... and i have like a million applications for it lol
I also made an IMEEM account =)
it's kool.. its like the type of profile you'd have on myspace but focused on media... like music and videos and pictures and such. |
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|
| random update |
[Jul. 5th, 2006|07:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Supermassive Blackhole - muse | ] |
I'm not taking summer college courses. im so upset. but you know, whatever...it interfered with my mom's destroying-her-skin time. >.<
MUSE'S NEW CD (balck holes and revelations) COMES OUT ON THE 11TH!!! THATS LIKE...SIX DAYS AWAY =)!!! it came out on the 3rd in England though. Thats the day i found out about it. it was like the 1st time in months that i went on myspace and i just happened to see a bulletin from muse about it. they have 2 of their new songs (Knights of Cydonia and Supermassive Black Hole) on their myspace, and i've been listening to them constantly. i NEEEEEEEEEEED this cd! *shrill girly shriek*
OMG! I GOT A RAT! thats right. after 8 years of asking i finally was allowed to get one. it was about 70$ total to own him what with the cage and all. he's albino. his name is Angus Og (from irish/celtic mythology - its the god of beauty. i just call him angus or angy for short though. i bought him in the morning on my birthday and the person at the pet shop said he was about 2 months old. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! i heart him <3
i've been reading a lot lately...independantly that is... well moreso than i have in the past couple years... and besides the fact i've barely gotten around to touching the book i began reading most recently... so far i've read Dark Demon, Savage Vision, City of the Dead, Decipher, and Irish Rebel in that order. im curently reading Taking Time and have a few more books to read once im done with it. said books include Savage Beloved, Dragon Charmer (the sequel to Prospero's Children), and With Red Hands (which came out last year- my freshman year that is- on December 28th).
ig i can consider myself to be on speaking terms with Spencer, seeing as i've spoken to him several times in the past few months.
Billy and i have been together over 7 months now =) i really do love him. and i always will, regardless of what may come of us and our relationship and where time leads us.
i still really miss balto... ig missing him eases the pain of missing rubi and emma. i mean, at least i know where rubi and emma are. i know that they led happy and fulfilled lives. and i know that im not there for balto. i dont know if hes happy or scared or safe. i always promised myself i wouldnt ever get rid of anything (animal wise). and they took him from me. got rid of him. but i can promis that i personally wont... but that doesnt bring him back. i miss him so much. i think thats partly why mom said i could get a rat. because i dont let her live it down, that she took balto from me. i love him so much. i just wanna see him again. and make sure he's happy and safe.
...im gonna go... i cant keep thinking about him... not at the moment. |
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| Pubby Wubby |
[May. 7th, 2006|09:26 pm] |
We got rid of Balto...or rather they did... i can't believe it... its been over a week and i still cant believe it... i mean... i didnt even like him until around august... i didnt even want him to start with... they got him as a replacement for Emma and for that i didnt like him to start with... but then he and i bonded... i taught him to howl... and he did a little purring thing like if u roll your toung... and he'd only do it for me... but they got rid of him... they had Emma for years before she learned anything... and they say that he just cant learn? did they ever "just learn" to quit smoking? or did she ever "just learn" to stop stealing? sure... she got caught now, but it was by no means her first offence... and they just toss Balto aside like he's worthless? i loved him... i love him... and now bailey's gone too... i can't believe it... Balto always listened to me and did as i wanted him to. he was so perfect for me... and they just rip him away? cuz he bit mom? wtf... Emma used to bite me all the time, and we had her until i was there when she died... they all leave me... why do i even care any more? the house is so empty...i hate it... i want him back... giving him back to popcorn park zoo and hoping he's adopted by a nice family wont help him... he's like a little foster child... and just as he was comfortable with his surroundings they got rid of him...thats not helping anything. god...im crying... lol this so sucks... its not even like he died like Rubi and Emma and like i know he's still with me... hes actually gone... and i can never see him again... ever... at night when i'd stay up and talk to billy, Balto was always for the most part either on my lap or next to me and then he'd follow me when i went to bed. he'd wait for me to get settled in bed and then he'd jump up with me... im still sleeping with his toy... i have been since tuesday, April 25 when he was taken away from me... and his toys... he loved his toys... particularly the sheep (the 1 i sleep with) and the bone one (that he got the day he came home with us)... he would walk around the house with them and he tried to bring them outside with him and he'd sleep with them and now he doesnt have them... hes gone for good and doesnt have anything with him... i mean, my mom wouldnt leave Rubi or Emma at a kennel for a week or two without Rubis blanky or Emmas ball, but this is for good and he doesnt have anything...nothing at all... i wonder if he even still has the same name...god whats wrong with me, why am i still crying... will the people that have him now know what he eats even? hes very picky about what he eats... and he loves apples... red apples, and they have to be cut right... and strawberries that have the green leafy top chopped off and that are cut in 1/2 vertically... and he tried a grape... i dont think he liked it... he wouldnt eat it... he took and and walked like 3 ft away and dropped it and sniffed it and walked away... and will they know that he doesnt like bathing? he doesnt... but its easier, i found, if you shower with him, other wise he makes a mess... hes so happy when he's finally clean though... you should see his smile... he doesnt like swimming either... he has a life vest...well we have it now... it was for him... its orange... like bright neon orange... and its got a handle on the back of it so you can just pick him up and walk around lol... i never tried it... i dont think its even been opened to tell the truth... but i wanted to try it... he has a sweater... well we have it now... hes gone... he didnt like it anyways... he liked to play with it, but he didnt like to wear it i mean... hes was soooooo cute in it... i took pictures...he put up a fight when u tried to put it on him or take it off of him... it was like a turtle neck... its was interesting... i love him so much... i want to hold him just one more time and make sure hes all right and happy and to give him his toys and an apple... he could really finish off an apple... i gave him the biggest apple we had and when there was none teft he looked at me with big eyes and then at the floor wanting more... =/ i want him back... theres like a void where he should be... like i still have Rubi and i still have Emma....they'll always be with me... i was there when they both died... but Balto was taken away... and hes not with me anymore... its really harder to loose a dog when hes taken away then when they die...at least when they die you know theyre happier and cant suffer and are still with you... but what if his new family is mean? what is theres not enough space in his new home for him to run around? what if theres too much room and they just leave him outside all night in the cold? what if he's ignored? or beaten? or yealled at constantly? what if they dont give him the right food and he starves? he refused to eat food he didnt like... he'd nudge his bowl under the- idk what it is...the wooden thing in the kitchen- and just not eat... what if hes lonely? if they dont have any toys for him? ...im so pathetic... i could continue going on like this forever... im nowhere near done with my thoughts about him and this but im crying and this is just too pathetic... maybe i'll com back some other time and finish this all up... |
|
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| my weekend |
[Dec. 11th, 2005|08:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
i spent yesterday with billy. it was fun. he helped me pick out a dress for Friday's MATES dance. its pretty. its brown with pink accents. then we went to burger king. lol. topless at berger king. lmao... anywho, we bought the star wars watches. that was kool. billy set mine. the time on it hasnt changed. it still says 4:07. so then we went back to my house and stayed here for a few hours.
today my grandma came over and taught my mother, sister and me how to make the anceient secret family scottish shortbread recipe. my grandmas grandmother brought it over from scotland. my grandmas grandfather was from ireland and loved the shortbread so his wife would make it for him for christmas each year.
i wish my grandma had stayed here longer today. i want to spend more time with her. =/ |
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| Billy =) |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | amazed- lonestar | ] |
Billy and i have been dating since last wednesday, novemver 30th. he and i have been really good friends for a long time. i trust him with everything and anything. i love him so much. i never actually told any1 i loved them before, unless it was airily to a friend or something. but i do love billy, and he loves me. we tell eachother all the time...even b4 we were dating lol...bulletins are so0o real duh. lol. he's perfect. he's so perfect. he is the epitemy (sp) of the best any1 could even wish for in a boyfriend. yea...sounds mushy and shit i know. idc. i really dont. j'adore lui avec tout mon coeur. <3
yea, so i went to the carity event tonight. billy preformed there with the jazz band. theres only 4 ppl in the band, but theyre good. i had fun. i got to see mrs conover again =) that was kool. i miss her
Im going shopping tomorrow =) theres a dance on friday (my sisters bday...no1s gonna b home for it lol) at MATES and its a semi formal. and guess who im bringing with me to help me pick out dresses =) thats right. Billy! lol
i really do love him. and i always will. he means so much to me.
XoXoXo <3 |
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| NJROTC |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | shakedown street- the Grateful Dead | ] |
Thus far i've attended two ROTC competitions: manchester hosted one and i competed in the one at neptune. I love ROTC. Just the other day i recieved a new ribbon and earned a new rank. Now im a 3rd class petty officer and i have the drill ribbon and participation ribbon. oh! and, the other day, i got to call commands for knock out durring class. that was tuesday, it was a drill day. Jess won the first round. then when i was calling commands she would call things out...apparently we sound alike when we call commands so we got soooo many people out that way. i did the same thing when she was calling commands too. that was fun. i like calling commands. i was thinkin about asking if i could for the next competition we go to, but im not sure if i'd be aloud to. Anthony, a freshman in my NS1 ROTC class, told me that i call commands better than Jess, but i donno about that.
Oh man, there's a kid in my ROTC class thats kool. He and i both go to the 300 wing after ROTC so we walk together. he'll be like "i love you jade" so i'll tell him "i love you too". its funny, Blaine's like "awwwww" and "jades single". its kinda annoying when blaine does that though but whatever. So Mark found out thet im ticklish =/ lol. ah well. I like him and all, and i have for...a while...but Sheena does now too so i dont wanna say anything or let it known that i like him or anything. plus, its just a teenage infatuation, it doesnt mean anything in the longrun and thus is an insignificant aspect of my life, there's no need to ruin my friendship with sheena over it. oh, Sheena's in my ROTC class too, she sits 2 seats behind me, Blaine sits directly behind me, Mark sits next to me, and Jess sits next to Blaine and behind Mark.
The majority of my time is spent on ROTC, though sometimes i have to miss it for other events, like math league or history club. thats all i'm in this year; math league, rotc and history club. I was originally going to be in four other things too, but it hasn't worked out that way this year. I might still go to French club if i can pay my dues on monday; its two dollars to get in. and i might still be able to go to science club, but i'm not sure, i'll ask Shannon about that.
I've learned a lot from ROTC. I was watching 'An Officer and a Gentleman' yesterday and was able to better understand it due to my ROTC class. At one point the platoon was told to fall out, and they just stood there and then walked away...they didnt step back, say "ay ay sir", or about face...it irritated me...but at the ceremony at the end of the movie where they all graduated from their training they finally did it correctly. lol. |
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| landslides, earthquakes, hurricanes; nobody believed me |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|09:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | its the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine)-REM | ] |
I think the subject is rather self explainitory. For years i have been saying that nature wiil reclaim Her land and devistate all- or at least most- of mankind. I have said it, I have reiterated it, and no one believed me. Two years ago I lectured my mom on that aspect of my beliefs and she thought there was something wrong with me and told me I was morbid. Looks like I was correct afterall. |
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| Mike |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|08:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Muse- endlessly | ] |
Yeah, so before i explain the subject of this entry, allow me to begin by staing that i have baan back in school, enrolled at MTHS now, since september 7th. My first-perion class is ROTC and I, along with several other sophmores are in a freshmen class (NS1). So one friend i made is Jessica Good and it jut so happens that she and Courtney are friends too. =)
So last Friday was the Welcome-Back Dance at school and Jess needed a ride so i said I'd driver her and she asked if she could bring her brother and of course i said sure. So i hung out with her brother, Mike, for the greatest percentage of the night. And, yea, i liked him...I doubt i woulda hung out with him at the dance if I hadn't.
Anywho, yesterday Jess approached me and asked if I like her brother and if I'd date him if he asked me out. I said yes =) so at the end of the day he asked me out. =)
Today, Alex, Lucy, Peter, and I were all going to hang out in Lakehurst with Erin so I called Jess n asked if she and Mike wanted to meet up with us. So i spent the afternoon with all them.
Haha. Jess, Ashley (another friend I've made this year: she's a junoir), and I all have freshmen boyfriends. So Jess and I would joke that she was cheating on Steven with me so now today she was telling Mike that i was cheating on him with her. He was like, "no, mine." lol. So the three of us were on Erin's bed today and Jess and I were like hugging eachother kinda and she said I was cheatin on him with her and i was like "yea, Mike, I'm so sorry you had to find out this way."
Mike is so sweet. And I can deffinately say I like him and have no intentions to break up with him. |
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| moon phase html thingy |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|12:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i play chicken with the train- cowboy troy | ] |
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<table [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <!-- // Begin Current Moon Phase HTML (c) CalculatorCat.com // --><script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> var ccm_cfg = { n:'1', pof:'1', dt:'1', tc:'#ffffff', pth:'' } </script><table width="140" bgcolor="#000000" style="background-color:bgcolor="#000000" " cellpadding="0" cellspacing="3" border="0"><tr><td align="center" style="border: 1px solid #AFB2D8;color:#ffffff;padding-top:5px;padding-bottom:5px;" bgcolor="#000000"><font face="arial,verdana,sans-serif" size="1" color="#ffffff"><span style="font-size:10px;font-family:arial,verdana,sans-serif;color:#ffffff">CURRENT MOON<br /><script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="http://www.moonmodule.com/cs/ccm_b.js"></script><script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="http://www.moonmodule.com/cs/ccm_v.js"></script><span style="display:block;padding-top:5px"><a href="http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/moon_phases.phtml" target="cc_moon_ph" style="font-size:10px;font-family:arial,verdana,sans-serif;color:#777777;text-decoration:underline;background:#000000;border:none;">moon phase</a></span></span></font></td></tr></table><!-- // end moon phase HTML // --> |
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| Single |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|09:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Demetri martins background music on comedy central pressents | ] |
ok, so since i wanted to break up with spencer anyhow and i just decided; fuck the plot. it is wasting my energy that i should b focusing on the upcoming skool year. so this is it. as of today i am single. im not waisting my time to call him and im going to give him the decency of callin to inform him of this occurance fore he hasn't even given me the decency of calling me for over a month, etc. and, to my knowlege, several people know what ect entails. so rite now, im single. spencer is just gonna have to hear it via word of mouth.
now i get to flirt to my hearts content without a guilty concious...though guilt has not been an issue with me in the past but whatever. 0=)
haha. i already told amanda hart so she is my witness as is this journal entry. so now im free to live my life without strings attatched.
*sings free bird* |
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| la de da de dee |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|10:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | st anger- metalica | ] |
ok. well where should i start. ah yes, i believe i had previously written about how spencer was what had kept me here. which, durring my state of irrationality, had been true of the months leading up to the start of our relationship. early on, about 3 days into the relationship, he had brought up the topic of a break up. every time i spoke with him the topic usually came to his past girlfriends, what he did with them and what they did to him and how things worked out and so on and so forth. since i brought him to my aunts house for my cousin's graduation party, i had been plotting to break up with him. it was a game. we havent spoke, spencer and i, for well over a month- since i had last seen him. i didnt mention a break-up to anyone -other than one time i was in the garage room with josh and i brought it up vaugely- until i was at alex's house before i went on vacation. i brought it up almost offhandidly, so i guess alex didnt notice much, though the point of it was to have it spread so it would get to spencer so he would call me at which time i would inevidably break the relationship off. the plan was for alex to bring it up with lucy, lucy to tell either justin or billy, and then for either justin or billy to leak it to spencer. it had not worked out as such. instead i had lucy and alex tell me on the 27th that he was cheating on me with tess. i was kinda expecting it, with how he talks of her and erin. im just relieved he wasnt cheating on me with erin. i've heard she has a tendancy to cheat on people and i dont want to see peter hurt in any way. so for that i am glad. i had already known due to intuition (and his sis had wanted to talk to me but he wouldnt let me talk to her...that was kinda a tip-off too...) that he was cheating on me, that didnt factor into me breaking up with him much, just added to the list of my dislikes of him (there has been a list since the begining by the way). it doesnt bother me in the least that hes cheating on me, what bothers me is that so many people knew and yet never confronted me. and lucy had *told* people not to tell me. that is simply an utter betrayal of trust from everyone i am friends with. and appeantly pete knew for like a week and didnt tell me so lucy and alex had to have known for much longer than that. and i saw to it, for as far back as i can remember, that i made it clear to anyone and everyone i would rather people be upfront with me. be it gossip behind my back, or issues with relationships. i am a big girl now! *said in little pull-up training pants id voice*. i can handle anything thrown my way. its all teen queen fluffy pop shit. its pointless when you look at the big picture. im not one of the little girls who cant handle a break up and will commit suiside over it. i have more in my life to look foward to and im not settling down until i've completed all my ambitions. all this teeny bob shit is a phase and its going to be over in 3 years (sophmore year hasnt started yet) so all this shit right now is just a fling and nothing to get worked up over. and to bbot, i happen to be a greatly detatched indevidual when it comes to people and places. i couldnt give two shits if i never saw anyone i know again. and thats not to say i dont care of them, i do. a great deal, i am a loyal friend. but at any given momebt i can pick up and leave and think nothing of it.
whatever. fuckin retarded shit. i have to revise my plot. i'm in the proccess of working on a new one. im out for now.
peace out. |
|
|
| Toby Keith |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Toby Keith | ] |
I am currently at my aunt's place of residance. she baught mea ticket for the Toby Keith concert at the PNC Bank Art Center 4 tonight and we went together. i just got back from the concert. it was the best. lee ann womack was the opening act. durring the song "i hope you dance" i called my mom so she could listen to it. th real concert started after 9:06.it was amazing. it started off with like a projection for us to watch and he was in a ford pick up truck and was abducted by aliens then he crashed into a wall then the screen let and the stage was revealed and there was smoke from which he emerged. it was spectacular. he was so flippin sexy. i knew all the songs. i was gettin scared that he wasnt gonna preform American Soldier, but he did in the encore, along with Curtesy of the Red White and Blue. American Soldier still brings tears to my eyes whenever i hear it.
i baught a tee-shirt and a whiskey girl hat. the shirt has a pick of him on it....so sexy... and the hat is pink and black and says whiskey girl on the front and on the back in silver it says i like it rough. haha...i didnt see the back till after i bought it, oh well...haha.
i left a message for Toby on myspace about it. omg....the concert was amazing. |
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| liftedness |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|12:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | mixed....read the last lines. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | garbage- stupid girl | ] |
yay! alex is back! woot woot! haha...study session...neato...hahaha...yea, but my mom said it's alright for you to stay here a few nights so we can get the projects outa the way so we dont have to do it for the rest of the summer...seeing how u and i have a tendancy to procrastinate *looks around... no we dont, hoo said that* you know...this way we arent up all night the night b4 the 1st day of school lol...i did that last year....up past 2:30 am workin on the science project for skool haha.
yea, i was bored before so i changed the layout and all the colours. before it was all different shades of blue and all and now its like black with bright pretty colours. =)
anyhow.. the point of this entry:
I noticed last night after i had written my last entry that lucy had made an update for her LJ in my LJ and i was talkin bout it with alex a little while ago. she wanted to see so i sent her the link to my journal. she read it and then read the 1st listed entry...the one from last night. she was like "awwww" in regaurds to the last paragraph. somehow we got into talkin. i was like, yeah he doesnt know it, but he's the reason im still here. i was gonna run away if it wasnt for him. she wanted to kno why i would run away and for some reason i told her and i unloaded evverything onto her. i hadnt written it anywhere or told any1 until 2night. i told her that with "everything being my fault" at home and with all the shit in skool it felt like it couldnt get any worse and it was like quick sand up to my neck and the more i struggled the more and more shit got dumped on me and the more stuck in the quicksand i would be and it was like i was suffocating...to the point where i could actually feel physically soffocated and i couldnt take any more and i planned to leave and run away. and with emma gone it was like there was nothing here for me, nothing that was keeping me here. as a kid, rubi and emma were the only reasons i stayed. so many times as a child i wanted to run away but i loved rubi and emma and didnt want to leave them. but they both left me; rubi on june 9th when i was in 7th grade and emma on may 5th of this year. and they left me so there was no1 left for me here...but in the mornings i would see spencer and just be happy for the rest of the day. something about him made everything better. i could wake up and have a shitty morning and plot how to run away when i go of the bus inthe afternoon, but then i would see him and forget it all and if the day after that was shitty all i had to do was think about him, about a comment or anything and just smile and that would keep me through the day. i decided then not to run away...i liked that happy feeling and i didnt want it to go away. so then i made a new plan. i would run away at the end of skool. b/c, the way i saw it, i would be free once more. there was no more rubi or emma keeping me here. spencer would be gone and i would never see him again. but then on june 2nd he asked me out. so now im here and i dont plan on running away anytime soon. he doesnt know it, but he means everything to me. he's why i havent left, and probly why im still alive (most runaways are veiwed as easy targets and are thus easily abducted/ raped/ killed).
and my dad was yelling at me the other night about everything. and then went on to say how he was pissed off at my grades and how im dating someone 3 years older than me that has already just graduated highskool, etc. well if my dad wants me to stay here and if he doesnt want me gone out of his life, he should be counting his blessings that i found spencer. cuz if not for spencer, his "little girl" would have been long gone by now.
so i unloaded all that onto alex for the most part. i had been keepin it all inside since spring. i still get all the emotions pouring back into me as i write all this... the hate, fear, pain, saddness, determination, the feeling of being overwhelmed, love, hapiness, and disapointment. everything. |
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regretful4eva's journal
